Hey God I know that it has been a bit but don't think that you have not been in every thought that I have each day. I have been struggling with a lot of things lately. My momentum with my weight loss has come to a screeching halt. I have maintained but wow I felt like I was making so much progress and was doing what I should be doing and then came the week of the move. I felt so out of control and scared although relieved and excited that the next step was happening. I am having a great deal of fear with this move to our current home. I feel as though something terrible is going to happen at this place and that we are going to regret the entire thing that we have felt you have given us to do. Then I start thinking about wow are you just preparing me for something bigger like you did with Ema's death? I don't want to lose Jason or Gabe on this journey that you are taking us down. I say that I don't think that I could go on if I lost either of them but I know that I would. As hard as that is to swallow. I am not sure if what I am feeling is satan trying to distract me or if this is truly coming from you. I am just feeling so out of things and feeling so out of touch with what is going on around me. Lord please give me peace and direction for what it is that you want me to do. I am in your complete control and I am compeltly yours and no one elses. I know that you will protect me from all that is evil and that I will be safe and so will my family. Lord please give Jason and i direction and calm about the position in Bandera. Let us know without a doubt wether that is the place that you are wishing for me to be teaching. Do not that the door even open if it is not what you are wanting for me. This move that we are making in your name is so overwhelming but in such an amazing way. I am so worried that we are going to pick the wrong something make the wrong decisions and then the plan that you had set out for us will not go the way that you had wanted it too. I just want to do what it is that you truly want for us to do for you. I don't want to do something that does not make you sing and rejoice for what we are doing for the kingdom. Lord please give me peace and calm within my heart. I truly know that this move is exactly what you want for us there is no question of that anywhere in my heart. I am scared of what is going to happen in that process what major things are going to be put in front of us that will grow us even more. I just don't want it to be a major person in our lives death. I really think we have proven that we can handle that can you give us something else?!! I know that I am not in control of any of this but I thought that I would just throw it out there :-) Wow I just can't believe that you have chosen Jason and I to be the ones that you want to carry out the journey that you have given us. I hope that we are following through just as you would want us too. We love you Lord and I really hope that you can see that in the steps that we are taking.